Today I went through Emily’s clothes.
Immediately after Emily’s earthly departure, her husband bagged everything up and put it in storage, unable to deal with the process of going through everything at that point.
Then he called today and asked if I wanted to come pick up her things. I said yes.
Upon arriving back at home, I began slowly untying each garbage bag full of her clothes, looking inside to see items so familiar, still full of her scent. Each item with it’s own story. The air-brushed t-shirt she and her husband bought at the fair last year. Her favorite warm-ups that she just about wore out. The fluorescent colored socks that she used to wear, mismatched–I don’t think there were two of the same color. The skinny, before-baby clothes. Shoes.
It hurts pretty bad. I mean, it hurts REAL bad.
I really only have ONE comfort: that I KNOW I will see her again. That’s my main, overriding comfort.
And there are other, smaller comforts, such as knowing that the last couple of years of her life were mostly very happy. And knowing that she is happy and healed and free at this very moment and every moment to come.
And of course, there is her baby. That sweet baby who has such a hold on my heart.
The discarded clothes are leftovers of a life left too soon. They have no value except for the memories they evoke of their owner, a blond-haired blue-eyed beauty with a happy countenance and a gentle spirit.
She left the clothes, and she left the body, which was essentially her earth-clothes.
No matter what age I live to, I’ll be seeing her real soon.
Suzanne Leitz 
Just too sad for me so can not imagine how you feel.
Susanne in a moment like this it is so hard to tell someone how they should feel. There is no limit on time or days to measure how to you and Craig should feel about Emily passing. And I am sure you have asked yourself and God “Why” why Emily. But you and Craig are strong in your faith and I was so touched by your strength you have through Gods love that your family showed at Emily’s wake and at her funeral. I know you made her proud just always remember God is with you all keeping you strong in your faith and when the question “Why” even comes in your thoughts you just remember that as God promised you and me that one sweet day we will see our loved ones again. That is going to be a glorious day I can only imagine how beautiful it is and how much joy Emily feels in her heart being with God and His angels How wonderful it must be. So just hold on to that feeling. No hurt, no sickness, no suffering. Only joy and happiness with The Lord. I pray that gives you some comfort. Prayers for strength and joy. Love you.
Yes, that is my comfort! Thank you!
I cry with tears as I read your beautiful words, times like this makes us all speechless, but I know your strength comes from you knowing “what you got” inside of you!
I know Emily had the same power and thank God you have the promise to see her again!!!
Amen!
You are blessed to have such a strong faith. I can’t imagine the pain but you have such a comfort that only God can provide, You have a gift that brings words out beautifully on paper. I hope God continues to strengthen and guide you and your family on this journey.
Thank you!
Suzanne, I say this with tears falling. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. Your faith is like no one I have ever known. If there is anyone I would want to be like it would be you. I wish we as humans here on earth didn’t have to hurt so bad but again I know that too is just part of God’s plan. Emily “is” such a beautiful and sweet girl. I speak in the present because I know she is alive and well in heaven. I will continue to pray for you and your family and for God to give all of you the strength to get through this.
Thank you, Cindy, for your prayers. We continue to be under-girded by the prayers of the saints. And thank you for referring to Emily in the present; she IS alive. It’s just going to be a while until we see her again, and we miss her. But God gives us peace!